Category: #TheresNoPerfectVictim

March 2015 Community Education E-bulletin

3/1/2015

Welcome to the March 2015 edition of Hope House's Community Education E-bulletin!

TABLE OF CONTENTS:
February Was Teen Dating Violence Awareness & Prevention Month
Hope House Donation Needs
Domestic Violence
Sexual Assault
Campus Sexual Assault
Children & Youth

Miscellaneous News
Local News
Resources
Training Opportunity
Faith Communities' Section
Parents' and Youth Service Providers' Section

February was Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month

Sadly the potential severity of teen dating violence was made all too real last month when 17-year-old Dean Sutcliffe killed his ex-girlfriend's sister and mom's boyfriend in Mazomanie. Please see the list of articles and resources below related to this case and other teen dating violence issues:

Mazomanie Homicides Shine Light on Teen Dating Violence: NBC 15 interviewed Hope House's Community Education Program Manager for a segment on teen dating violence. See related articles: DAIS Director Says Teen Dating Violence is Common and Mazomanie Teen Threatened to Kill Before Double Homicide
Teen Dating Violence Happens in Our Community: Check out Hope House's letter to the editor on Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month
[NY] State Starts Social Media Campaign Against Teen Dating Violence: Check out the 4-minute video featuring teens discussing warning signs of dating violence and encouraging bystanders to speak up.

Hope House Donation Needs
Monetary donations are most needed. Individuals have the option of donating online. Please note that a portion of your online donation will go towards PayPal fees. Donations can be mailed to Hope House, P.O. Box 557, Baraboo, WI 53913. We also appreciate gas cards, gift cards (Walmart, Kwik Trip, Walgreens, Kohl’s), taxi vouchers from Baraboo Taxi, and used cell phones, iPods and iPads. Please note that we are not accepting stuffed animals, clothes (except for sweatshirts and sweatpants), shoes, TVs, bar soap, hats, scarves or travel-size bottles of shampoo, conditioner, or body wash. Current needs include

Bathrooms: Toilet paper, Deodorant, Disposable razors, Small garbage cans with bags, Nail clippers, Toilet bowl cleaner, Cleaning supplies such as Lysol disinfecting spray and floor cleaner, Clorox wipes, Hairspray, Bleach, Bathroom rugs and bath mats
Kitchen: Dishwasher soap, 13-Gallon garbage bags, Paper towels, Silverware, Brush for cleaning bottles, Fruit juice, Sip cups, Milk, Saran wrap, Aluminum foil
Laundry: Power laundry detergent, Dryer sheets, Fabric softener sheets
Clothing for Women and Kids: Winter boots, Socks, Women’s underwear, Medium-Large size pajamas, Sweatshirts and sweatpants
Misc: Pack 'n Play, Baby wipes, Band-Aids, Diapers and pull-ups, Pocket-sized calendars, Strollers, Baby bottles, Umbrellas, Hangers, Weather radio, Journals, Exercise balls, Yoga/exercise DVDs, Relaxation CDs, Baby thermometer, CD players, Regular light bulbs, New twin bed sheets

Special Note about Travel-Size Items: We encourage those looking to donate travel-size items to donate them to the Backpack Project. The Backpack Project strives to provide Baraboo School District students who are financially challenged to enter the school doors on the first day ‘just like everyone else’ and to show these children the community supports and encourages them to learn and do their best. If interested in donating towards this project, please contact Becky Hovde at 608-963-8230 or hivebiz@centurytel.net.

News & Research
Domestic Violence

NASCAR Suspends Kurt Busch After Domestic Violence Details: "NASCAR suspended Kurt Busch indefinitely Friday after a judge said the former champion almost surely choked and beat a former girlfriend last fall and there was a 'substantial likelihood' of more domestic violence from him in the future. In a stunning move two days before the season-opening Daytona 500, NASCAR said Busch would not be allowed to participate in any series activities until further notice"...Read more
MLB Players to Undergo Mandatory Domestic Violence Education
Why Victims Of Domestic Violence Don’t Testify, Particularly Against NFL Players: “There are various reasons victims choose not to do testify in domestic violence cases, including the fact that reliving the experience can be embarrassing and even re-traumatizing. One of the biggest reasons they avoid court, though, is the fear of retribution from their accusers...Studies have shown that between 40 and 60 percent of offenders arrested on domestic violence charges re-offend within 30 months, and a justice system that often fails to successfully monitor abusers and enforce restraining orders — and also fails to rehabilitate and reform offenders instead of punishing them — doesn’t always inspire confidence”…Read more
Ravens Will Avoid Players With Domestic Violence Issues
The Grammys: Meet the Domestic Violence Activist Performing with Katy Perry Tonight: “Her essay in the book, ‘What I Know of Silence,’ explored her experience of child sex-trafficking by a male nanny and how she used poetry and music to both heal and help her connect with other survivors...Now, the 34-year-old Austin resident, who serves as director of communications for the nonprofit Allies Against Slavery, is poised to speak to the entire world, parlaying her advocacy right into the heart of American pop culture when she joins Katy Perry onstage at the Grammys tonight. Before Perry sings ‘By the Grace of God,’ Axtell will give a speech about her experience with domestic violence”…Read more...Read related article: The Grammys’ Mixed Message on Domestic Violence: It’s Unacceptable — Except When the Abuser is a Pop Star We Like

A Glimpse From the Field: How Abusers Are Misusing Technology: "The Safety Net Project recently surveyed victim service providers on the misuse of technology by abusers. Of the programs surveyed, 97 percent reported that the survivors they are working with experience harassment, monitoring, and threats by abusers through the misuse of technology. Abusers in intimate partner violence misuse technology in many ways: to stalk and monitor victims, to harass victims through the 'anonymity' of the technology, and to impersonate victims through technology, such as creating false social media accounts"...Read more
'This Was The Beginning Of My Fear': 8 Truths About Stalking You Need To Know: “The word ‘stalking’ has taken on a whole new meaning in the cultural lexicon...‘Stalking’ a person online before an upcoming date is common, even de rigueur. ‘Stalking’ frenemies we haven’t talked to in years (but still know all about via their Facebook profiles) has basically become a new pastime. But the truth is, actual stalking is not something to simply brush off, mention in passing or take lightly. It’s very real and very scary — and this era, it’s all too easy to get caught up in a stalker’s snare. In fact, 1 in 6 women and 1 in 14 men will be stalked in their lifetimes. Read on for eight truths about stalking”
Unspoken Side of Domestic Violence: "In June of 2014 [Christopher] Chapa was shot to death in Galveston. The woman now charged with his murder is the one he was about to propose to...Holmes describes her brother's relationship saying, 'They're willing to do whatever it takes because they love them. They don't see this as I'm in real danger; this is a real toxic relationship.' She says she's sharing his story to raise awareness about the reality of men abused by women"...Read more
Polish Lawmakers Approve Law against Domestic Violence, after Fiery Debate about Family Values

Sexual Assault

8 Love Letters That Remind Sexual Assault Survivors They Are Not Alone: "'#Survivorloveletter is a call to survivors of sexual violence and our loved ones to publicly celebrate our lives,' Ikeda writes on the Tumblr's homepage. 'By telling our stories we seek to build knowledge and reflect on the ways we heal ourselves and our communities'"...Read more
Sex Slaves on the Farm: "Janet was forced into prostitution in Mexico by a boyfriend named Antonio in 1999; coyotes brought them across the border the following year, and they went to live with Antonio’s family in the borough of Queens in New York City, where she was put to work in brothels. Every couple of weeks, a van would take her and other women and girls—some as young as 12—to Charlotte, where she would spend a week or more, forced to have sex with strangers at a brothel by night and at farm labor camps by day"...Read more

When It Comes To Sexual Assault, #TheresNoPerfectVictim: "People who report their experiences of sexual assault are subjected to constant questioning and scrutiny -- as if there is a certain way 'real victims' should behave after being raped. In reality, people process trauma in myriad ways, and someone's reaction after being assaulted should not be used as 'proof' that a rape didn't happen if it doesn't match up with the way society believes a victim 'should' act...Today, feminist activists Julie Zeilinger and Wagatwe Wanjuki started the hashtag #TheresNoPerfectVictim to discuss the pressure survivors face, and the ways in which detractors try to discredit them"...Read more
Obama Delivers Sexual Assault Message at the Grammys: ‘It Has to Stop’
Prosecutors: UIC Student Charged with Assault Said He was Re-enacting 'Fifty Shades of Grey'

Campus Sexual Assault

In 5 Minutes, This Student Destroys Our Double Standards For Men And Women: “So Smith, who has 236,000 followers on Vine, connected up with One Student, a nonprofit aimed at college sexual assault awareness and education, to create a video going after what he sees as one cause of sexual violence: societal attitudes. The video, which was uploaded on Feb. 18, uses the language of sports to dissect and destroy harmful ideas about how men and women should behave sexually”…View the video
The Worst Way to Address Campus Rape: "Their skill with a weapon or fighting ability isn’t what I’m worried about; basic training didn’t help the tens of thousands of people in the military who suffered penetrative sexual attacks in 2014...'Just saying, letting women carry guns on campus to deter rape also means letting rapists carry guns,' he tweeted...These would-be remedies exacerbate the problem they purport to solve, making victims responsible for preventing their own attacks instead of putting the onus on rapists"...Read more...Read related article: Concealed Handguns Mainly Miss the Mark as an Answer to Campus Rape
The Other Side of Campus Sexual Assault That the Media Isn't Telling: "Such treatment tends to ignore the major strides survivors have made toward changing the conversation about sexual assault on their own...Whether it's through the creation of larger organizations or individual initiatives, utilizing groundbreaking technology or making inspiring art, women and men across the country are empowering one another to become agents of change. This generation isn't passively waiting for saviors: They're starting a revolution. And they're succeeding"...Read more

The Treatment of Emma Sulkowicz Proves We Still Have No Idea How to Talk About Rape: "'If you didn't immediately dial 911, it doesn't mean you weren't raped. Everyone deals with trauma differently, depending on how we were raised, the way we see ourselves and the different ways we each handle crises,' Sulkowciz said. 'I want other survivors to know that if you reached out to your attacker after you were assaulted, it shouldn't discredit your story'"...Read more
Sexual Assault Under-Reported on U.S. College Campuses: "Researchers looked at data about on-campus sexual assaults reported by 31 large private and public universities and colleges during audits by the federal government. During the audits, the number of reported sexual assaults rose an average of 44 percent compared to previously reported figures. After the audits ended, the reported number of sexual assaults fell to pre-audit levels...The study also found that reporting of other serious crimes -- such as assault, robbery and burglary -- during audits didn't show the same dramatic increase as seen in the reporting of sexual assaults"...Read more
The Hidden Victims of Campus Sexual Assault: Students with Disabilities: “More specifically, it uncovers troubling allegations from students who said their disabilities made them targets for sexual assault; that their experiences reporting that abuse were complicated by factors like disability, race and sexual identity; and that in some cases, sexual assault was even the cause of a disability, such as depression. Their stories, experts say, offer a window into the dire need for all universities to do a better job of tackling sexual assault among students with disabilities, and into the possible legal ramifications of their inaction”…Read more

Children & Youth

The Subtly Offensive Phrases We Need To Stop Saying: “Though they might be unintentional, these offensive phrases -- called micro-aggressions -- are heard all too often in everyday conversation. And while they're frequently said in a joking way, the meaning of those words can have lasting negative effects. In a video created by SheKnows, a group of teen girls explained how micro-aggressions can be hurtful to their self-esteem”…Watch the video
Tim Kaine, Claire McCaskill Bill Would Require Sexual Assault Education In Public High Schools: "The Teach Safe Relationships Act of 2015, introduced on Tuesday by Sens. Claire McCaskill (D-Mo.) and Tim Kaine (D-Va.), would require that health education in public secondary schools include learning on 'safe relationship behavior' aimed at preventing sexual assault, domestic violence and dating violence"...Read more
Research Results from Madison Schools Suggest Compassion, Kindness Can Be Taught: "In a just-released study, UW-Madison researchers found that kids who had participated in the curriculum were less selfish and exhibited better social skills and greater mental flexibility than children who did not do the exercises. And in an added bonus, the kids who did the kindness curriculum earned higher academic marks at the end of the school year"...Read more

Meet the Middle School Girls Changing TX Dating Violence Legislation: "The group of 6th, 7th and 8th grade girls made the PSA as their outreach project for Destination Imagination, an organization that encourages student creativity through competitive problem-solving tournaments...What started as a group project for a middle school-level competition has since grown into a push for policy change with the help of TCFV"...Read more

[UK] Boy's Heartbreaking Video about his Torment at Hands of Bullies Prompts School Investigation: "A 12-year-old boy has forced his school to investigate bullies after making this heartbreaking video about his torment...'He’s showing others they can speak out. The school has been quite helpful. They’ve spoken to me and it seems like they want things to change'"...Read more
Understanding Trauma Can Turn Lives Around: Former NHLer Sheldon Kennedy: “The goal, he said, is to help children before the trauma they have experienced takes a further toll on their lives and their futures...He was abused by former hockey coach James between the ages of 14 and 19, until about 1990...Kennedy, who went on to play for the Calgary Flames and the Boston Bruins, turned to drugs and alcohol, spent time in jail, rehabilitation centres and psychiatric hospitals...After James was sentenced for abusing Kennedy and another player, Kennedy began speaking publicly about his case and became a well-known advocate for victims of abuse”…Read more
Let's Overcome Our Blind Spots When It Come to Child Trafficking: “Through research and advocacy work we know that domestic trafficking of children is far more common than most Americans believe, and more underreported. It can take the form of sexual exploitation, like what happened to Brian and Katy. And, it can take other forms. Some traffickers force children to work in peddling rings, selling magazines or candy on street corners or in suburban neighborhoods”…Read more

Miscellaneous

Facebook Rolling Out Suicide Prevention Tool: “Facebook worked with mental health organizations including the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline to ‘provide more resources, advice and support to people who may be struggling with suicidal thoughts and their concerned friends and family members.’ The company announced a new tool that allows users to report to Facebook if a friend has posted a threat to commit suicide. These reports will be reviewed by teams who can ‘send help.’ The poster in question may receive a private message from Facebook saying, ‘...a friend thinks you might be going through something difficult and asked us to look at your recent post.’ It will then direct the person to options to talk to a friend or helpline worker, or to get tips and support”…Read more
1 In 3 Women Has Been Sexually Harassed At Work, According To Survey: “A new survey found that one in three women between the ages of 18-34 has been sexually harassed at work. Cosmopolitan surveyed 2,235 full-time and part-time female employees and found that one in three women has experienced sexual harassment at work at some point their lives”…Read more and view the infographic
Ravages of Revenge Porn Spur Federal Crime Push: "Started in 2012, the End Revenge Porn campaign has helped 11 state pass laws criminalizing revenge porn. Today 16 states have criminal remedies for revenge porn, with more in the works. Though advocates say federal law is also essential to combating this vicious online crime, which is boundary-less like the Internet"...Read more

Local News

Krystal Schmidtke, 32, of Lodi, faces a felony charge of physical abuse of a child and a misdemeanor charge of disorderly conduct, stemming from allegations that she restrained and injured a 13-year-old child...Read more

Justin Wagner, 27, of Wisconsin Dells, faces charges of first-degree attempted intentional homicide, strangulation and suffocation, misdemeanor battery, and disorderly conduct, all alleged to have stemmed from domestic abuse...Read more
Shawn LaRush, 42, of Portage, charged with false imprisonment and disorderly conduct stemming from allegations that he held a woman against her will...Read more
Matthew Elliot, 24, of Lodi, sentenced to six months in jail and to register as a sex offender for sexually assaulting a 15-year-old girl...Read more
Patrick Kraemer, 46, of Wyocena, will go on trial for first-degree intentional homicide of Traci Rataczak, his girlfriend, in April of 2013…Read more
Natalie Murphy, 22, of Necedah, charged with first-degree intentional homicide of Andrew Dammen of Mauston, the father of her daughter…Read more

Resources
Child Abuse and Children with Disabilities: Teachers College at Columbia University has created web resources that are specifically focused on preparing for and conducting interviews with children who have been abused who also have disabilities. To view these resources, click here.

OVC’s Victim Assistance Training (VAT) Online has added five new modules to its curriculum: sexual assault, LGBTQ populations, victims with substance abuse issues, financial crimes, and identity theft. VAT training is free and high-quality. For more information, click here.

Transgender Sexual Violence Project: Summary of Wisconsin Data: "The Transgender Sexual Violence Project, sponsored by FORGE (For Ourselves: Reworking Gender Expression), conducted a national survey on sexual violence within the transgender and SOFFA (Significant Others, Friends, Family and Allies) community...We broadly define transgender to include a large population of people who do not strictly adhere to societally constructed gender norms and stereotypes." View the data here.

National Eating Disorder Awareness Week (Feb 22-28): The National Eating Disorders Association has created tools and resources to understand eating disorders and support individuals and families on the journey to recovery. They have an information and referral helpline, lesson plans on digital media literacy, awareness materials, and toolkits for parents, educators, and coaches. You might also be interested in the National Sexual Violence Resource Center’s online resource collection on sexual violence, trauma, and eating disorders, which you can view here.

Training Opportunity
Together for Children Conference: This conference will be held April 15-16 in Lake Geneva. Workshops include Teen Sexual Abuse: What Professionals Need to Know for Prevention and Response; Child Sexual Abuse in a Technological World: Implications for Investigation, Prosecutions and Victim Impact; A Collaborative Model for Reducing Truancy; Maximizing the Benefits of Team Building; Dangerous Homes? What injuries should make you worry about abuse after household 'accidents'; Promoting Resiliency in Young Children in Poverty who have Experienced Complex Trauma; and more. For more information and to register, visit www.preventchildabusewi.org.

Faith Communities' Section
Save the Date: The next Faith Leaders for Healthy Relationships (FLHR) luncheon will be on April 28 on Spiritual Integrity - how to help individuals re-establish trust in themselves, others, and in a higher power when someone has broken that trust due to experiences of abuse, cheating, crossing boundaries, pastoral misconduct, or conflicts in the church. Thanks to everyone that participated in the last FLHR luncheon, Community Resources Panel, on January 21 at Trappers Turn Golf Club!

More Pastors Embrace Talk of Mental Ills: “Evangelical leaders are increasingly opening up about family suicides, their own clinical depression and the relief they have received from psychiatric medication…This month, a mental health advisory group appointed by Dr. Page offered a variety of proposals to help Southern Baptist congregants and their families with mental health challenges, the first time the church has addressed the subject in a direct and comprehensive manner. The proposals include providing churches with a database of Christian counselors and mental health providers, and offering more robust education about mental health in seminaries and at Christian colleges”…Read more

Parents' & Youth Service Providers' Section
Teaching Digital Citizenship: "In partnership with Disney's Club Penguin, NetSmartz is proud to announce that our latest resource, Teaching Digital Citizenship, is available today! This free, online training tool provides practical tips for leading class discussions and highlights NetSmartz resources ideal for teaching each topic. This program provides an in-depth review of how to teach digital literacy and ethics, inappropriate content, online sexual solicitation, online privacy, sexting, and cyberbullying."

Futures Without Violence’s How to Talk to Teens about Dating Violence: “Below you’ll find information and tools to help you talk to your kids about healthy relationships, guidelines on how to navigate their world of cell phones and social networking and how to talk to your kids about being an upstander vs. a bystander”…Read more

Miss Representation Curriculum 2.0: "Watch this video with a young person in your life and complete the accompanying activity. Next, imagine a whole library of videos like this one, inspiring media literacy and learning. In the curriculum, we've paired multiple, age-appropriate, short videos with easy to implement lessons for both in and out of school. If you want to keep spreading the love, get the Miss Representation Curriculum 2.0 for your local classroom or community group."

Putting Media to the Test: “Here at loveisrespect, we’re all about building and nurturing healthy relationships, but unfortunately the media is not always on the same page. In honor of Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month, we’ve decided to dissect some media and put it to the test. The Healthy Relationship test, that is! Below are the music videos for three chart-toppers from 2014 [Jealous by Nick Jonas, Blank Space by Taylor Swift, and Animals by Maroon 5]. To test them, we’re going to focus on both the lyrics and the imagery”…Check out the songs’ scorings

NO BULL Challenge: "A social action organization, NO BULL Challenge invites youth (ages 13 to 23) from around the world to take a stand against bullying and to promote digital responsibility, leadership, and social action through filmmaking and social media. To participate, create a short film, public service announcement (PSA) or vine. To learn more about how you can be a leader, make it all the way to the award show in Los Angeles, and win a scholarship and other prizes, go to w ww.nobullchallenge.org. Entry deadline: April 19, 2015."

School Experiences of Trans and Gender Non-Conforming Students in Wisconsin: "The purpose of this research is to systematically document the experiences of transgender (trans) and gender non-conforming (GNC) students in Wisconsin schools to fill in the knowledge gaps about their unique needs. Six themes are addressed in the report: learning environment, physical facilities, health and wellness, safety, institutional and social support, and acceptance and respect"...Read the report

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March 2015 Community Education E-bulletin

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