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July 2016 Community Education E-bulletin

7/6/2016

Welcome to the July 2016 edition of Hope House's Community Education E-bulletin!

TABLE OF CONTENTS:
1. Denim Day Donations
2. Hope and Healing Quilts
3. Hope House Donation Needs
4. Standford Sexual Assault Case
5. Sexual Assault

6. Domestic Violence
7. Miscellaneous News
8. Local News
9. Parents' & Youth Service Providers' Section
10. Faith Communities' Seciton
11. Resources

Denim Day Donations
Many thanks to the businesses, service agencies, schools, and churches that participated in Denim Day in April for Sexual Assault Awareness Month. By wearing jeans on Denim Day, community members illustrated their support of sexual assault survivors sending the message that survivors deserve to be believed and not blamed. Many of the participants decided to donate funds to Hope House as a part of their Denim Day campaign. This year community members raised over $3,100 to support survivors in our service area. Thank you for your support!

Hope and Healing Quilts
In April, we asked community members from all of our five counties to decorate denim blocks with messages of support for survivors, how sexual abuse has impacted their own life, or pledges to help when someone is being hurt. We received enough submissions to create a quilt for each county. Emanuel Quilters for Christ in Baraboo pieced together the quilt from Sauk County residents, the Lodi Quilt Guild pieced together the quilt from Columbia County residents, Gem City Quilters of Baraboo pieced together the quilt from Marquette County residents, and the Reedsburg Area Quilt Guild is finishing up the two quilts from Adams and Juneau County residents. Thank you to all these quilting groups!

The Sauk County quilt is currently on display in the West Square Building in Baraboo. The Lodi Quilt Guild is presenting the Columbia County quilt at the Lodi Agricultural Fair this weekend. Plans for displaying quilts are ongoing. If you have a location where you think people would benefit from seeing one of the Hope and Healing Quilts and/or have a group that would like a Hope House staff person to present to on our services and show the quilt, please call us at 608-356-9123 or email HHShelter@HopeHouseSCW.org.

Hope House Donation Needs
Monetary donations are most needed. Individuals have the option of donating online. Please note that a portion of your online donation will go towards PayPal fees. Donations can be mailed to Hope House, P.O. Box 557, Baraboo, WI 53913. We also appreciate gas cards, gift cards (Walmart, Kwik Trip, Walgreens, Kohl’s), taxi vouchers from Baraboo Taxi, and used cell phones, iPods and iPads. Please note that we are not accepting stuffed animals/plush toys, used toys, clothes (except for new sweatshirts and sweatpants), shoes, used books, furniture, TVs, bar soap, hats, scarves or travel-size bottles of shampoo, conditioner, or body wash. Current needs include

Bathrooms: Liquid hand soap, Full-size bottles of shampoo and body wash, Toilet bowl cleaner, Toilet paper, Deodorant, Disposable razors, Body spray and makeup, Small garbage cans with bags, Nail clippers, Cleaning supplies such as Lysol disinfecting spray and floor cleaner, Clorox wipes, Hairspray, Bleach, Bathroom rugs
Kitchen: Paper towels, Ziploc bags, Strainer/Colander, Silverware, Tupperware, Dishwasher soap, 13-Gallon garbage bags, Brush for cleaning bottles, Sip cups, Saran wrap, Aluminum foil
Food and Beverages: Cereal, Fruit juice, Meat, Fresh fruit and vegetables, Yogurt, Cheese, Canned soup, Snack items (crackers, granola bars, etc.), Milk
Laundry: Laundry detergent
Clothing for Women and Kids: New socks, New women’s underwear, New medium-large size pajamas, New sweatshirts and sweatpants
Misc: New pillows, New full-sized fitted white sheets, Diapers (especially sizes 4-6) and pull-ups, Vacuum, Double stroller, Baby wipes, Band-Aids, Pocket-sized calendars, Baby bottles, Umbrellas, Hangers, Journals, Exercise balls, Yoga/exercise DVDs, Relaxation CDs, Baby thermometer, CD players, Regular light bulbs

Special Note about Travel-Size Items: We encourage those looking to donate travel-size items to donate them to the Backpack Project. The Backpack Project strives to provide Baraboo School District students who are financially challenged to enter the school doors on the first day ‘just like everyone else’ and to show these children the community supports and encourages them to learn and do their best. If interested in donating towards this project, please contact Becky Hovde at 608-963-8230 or hivebiz@centurytel.net.

News
Brock Turner, Standford Sexual Assault Case

Here Is The Powerful Letter The Stanford Victim Read Aloud To Her Attacker: “A former Stanford swimmer who sexually assaulted an unconscious woman was sentenced to six months in jail because a longer sentence would have 'a severe impact on him,' according to a judge. At his sentencing Thursday, his victim read him a letter describing the 'severe impact' the assault had on her”…Read the letter in full
Sexual Assault Survivors Share Their Stories After Stanford Letter
In Their Words: The Swedish Heroes Who Caught The Stanford Sexual Assailant: “In her letter, the victim said she was told one of the two men was crying because he was so upset by the state she was in. She also said she was forever grateful to Arndt and Jonsson for what they did. ‘Thank you to the two men who saved me, who I have yet to meet,’ the victim wrote. ‘I sleep with two bicycles that I drew taped above my bed to remind myself there are heroes in this story. That we are looking out for one another. To have known all of these people, to have felt their protection and love, is something I will never forget’”…Read more
Judge In Stanford Sexual Assault Trial Removed From New Case
To Brock Turner’s Father, From Another Father: “If his life has been 'deeply altered' it is because he has horribly altered another human being; because he made a reprehensible choice to take advantage of someone for his own pleasure. This young woman will be dealing with this for far longer than the embarrassingly short six months your son is being penalized. She will endure the unthinkable trauma of his '20 minutes of action' for the duration of her lifetime, and the fact that you seem unaware of this fact is exactly why we have a problem”…Read more
Joe Biden Writes An Open Letter To Stanford Survivor

Here’s How People Protested The Brock Turner Sentencing At Stanford’s Graduation: “In an 'unusual' act of protest for a school not known for activism, many Stanford students used their own graduation as a platform to protest what they believe to be an overly lenient sentence for a former student convicted of sexual assault on campus”…Read more
A Father's Defense of His Sex Offender Son, Annotated by a Title IX Expert: “First of all, let me say that Brock is absolutely devastated by the events of January 17th and 18th 2015. (Turner doesn't name the violence for what it is: sexual assault of an unconscious woman. He simply refers to ‘the events of January 17th and 18th.’ This is a key component of rape culture: minimizing or even erasing violence and its victims.)”…Read more
What You Missed in the Stanford Victim's Statement: “Fred Luskin, director of the Stanford Forgiveness Project, says while forgiveness isn't essential, his research shows it's the fullest expression of healing. When he defines forgiveness, there is no mention of the perpetrator. ‘Forgiveness is making peace at some level with the parts of your life that weren't the way you wanted them to be,’ said Luskin, who argues that forgiveness is a skill that's taught”…Read more

Sexual Assault

NFL Makes a $10 Million Promise to “End Sexual Violence in One Generation”: “To make it happen, the National Sexual Violence Resource Center (NSVRC), the California Coalition Against Sexual Assault/PreventConnect, and the National Alliance to End Sexual Violence have joined forces to create ‘Raliance.’ The collaborative initiative will pool the resources of all three organizations—a move that's made possible by the NFL's unprecedented multi-year commitment to the cause”…Read more
Why Wisconsin Makes Sex-Assault Victims Wait: “While Pierce-Weeks said she would like to see more hospitals ‘stepping up’ to better support their examiners, there are also ways that federal and state dollars could contribute. Acknowledging that the state currently relies on hospitals making the costly choice to support these programs, Schimel said he thinks some responsibility should ultimately fall with the criminal justice system to make sure exams are available”…Read more
‘I Hated This Man More than My Rapists’: Woman Confronts Football Coach 18 Years after Alleged Gang Rape: “And when she told the players that she used to hate Riley ‘more than my rapists,’ she could feel 150 faces turn from her to the coach and back again. But she also told them that Riley didn’t have to bring her to Lincoln. ‘This is what accountability looks like,’ she told the players, according to USA Today. ‘This is what transparency looks like. This is how we get things done’”…Read more
In Just 3 Minutes, Jamil Smith Nails How Toxic Masculinity Fuels Rape Culture: “MTV News senior national correspondent Jamil Smith breaks down the way toxic masculinity, a term that describes the damage stereotypical masculine ideals can have on both men and women, feeds rape culture, thus creating a society where sexism and sexual assault can thrive”…Watch the video

Domestic Violence

Orlando Shooter’s Domestic Abuse History Should Have Been A Warning Sign: “Of course, not all domestic abusers will commit horrific acts of violence against the public. But when men abuse their partners, they are broadcasting that they are violent, dangerous and potentially able to turn that violence against others. It’s a warning sign that should be taken seriously”…Read more...Read related article: A History of Violence, a Red Flag for the Future: We're Overlooking the Pattern of Domestic Abuse and Violence among Mass Shooters
Toxic Masculinity and Murder: “This seems a quintessential case of what has come to be known as toxic masculinity, as Marcotte defines it, ‘a specific model of manhood geared towards dominance and control.’ When men seek that control—when we feel it’s our due—and don’t achieve it, we can resent and hate. Toxic masculinity sets expectations that prime us for disappointment. We turn that disappointment on ourselves and others as anger and hatred”…Read more
Supreme Court Rules Domestic Abusers Can Lose Gun Ownership Rights: “Gun ownership rights can be denied to people who commit reckless acts of domestic violence, the Supreme Court ruled…The 6-2 ruling, written by Justice Elena Kagan and endorsed by conservative as well as liberal justices, upheld the sentences imposed on two Maine men who had argued their misdemeanor convictions for domestic abuse should not trigger a federal gun control statute”…Read more

Rep. Debbie Dingell on Domestic Abuse: 'I Know What It's Like to Have a Gun Pointed At You': “I lived in a house with a man that should not have access to a gun. I know what it’s like to see a gun pointed at you. And wonder if you are going to live…we still live in a society where we will let a convicted felon who was stalking somebody, of domestic abuse, still own a gun”…Read more
I Didn't Know a Man Could Be Abused by a Woman: “When Jacob Noll* was growing up in the Midwest, he could never have imagined he would experience domestic violence. 'I was a straight, white guy in a normal, small town that kind of catered to people like me,' he says wryly. 'My family was really close. My folks are still together. There were no big family problems that would have given me some kind of a window into how dark the world can be.' Yet Noll spent several years in such darkness after falling in love with Courtney, a woman he met online”…Read more
For Low-Income Victims, Nuisance Laws Force Ultimatum: Silence Or Eviction: “But Park and others say, even with such exceptions, the ordinances can have a chilling effect on tenants, especially those who are low-income with nowhere else to go. Some abusers even use the threat of eviction against their victims, which is what happened to Briggs. ‘After he found out that I was on my last and final strike, he kind of just like moved into my house’”…Read more

Miscellaneous News

Snapping a Picture of Your Hotel Room Could Help Stop Human Trafficking: “Hotel photos submitted by travelers will allow police to query the database to determine where the pictures of victims were taken. TraffickCam now has more than 1.5 million images of hotels across the world, thanks to support from the public”…Read more
Schimel: Human Trafficking Tough Fight for State: “The effort to combat human trafficking is one of the hardest fights facing Wisconsin, the state's top law enforcement official says. ‘We do have a serious problem,’ state Attorney General Brad Schimel said…The state's child sex trafficking task force, which was formed last year, also is training law enforcement to work with victims and collect better data on the crime”…Read more
The Stark Difference between Millennial Men and Their Dads: “They don’t completely identify with the brand of masculinity their fathers or grandfathers might have projected. That is to say: They’re not breadwinners (or don’t feel the need to be solebreadwinners). They look forward to raising babies. They reject a socially prescribed set of characteristics. Still, failing to fit the traditional masculinity mold has, at some point, drained their self esteem”…Read more
The Hypermasculine Violence of Omar Mateen and Brock Turner: “Anti-gay hate crimes, like violence against women (Mateen also reportedly beat his ex-wife), are tied closely to rigid and hierarchical ideas about masculinity that depend on differentiating ‘real’ men from women as well as gay and bisexual men…But he – just like Brock Turner – was born, raised and made a man right here in America”…Read more

19 Snarky Tweets That Prove #NoWomanEver Enjoys Being Harassed: “Created by a 37-year-old woman named CJ, the hashtag #NoWomanEver shines a much-needed spotlight on the harassment women face on a daily basis. CJ, who goes by the Twitter handle Miss Black Awareness, created the hashtag early Saturday morning after an encounter with a man in CVS. ‘He blocked me from walking to the register when I was ignoring him in CVS and we been together since that day!’ - NO WOMAN EVER’”…Read more...Read related article: From Airplanes to Street Corners, No Girl or Woman Ever Wants to be Harassed
Men's Fitness Has Some Creepy Non-Consensual Dating Tips: “The article, titled 'How to Turn a 'No' Into a 'Yes',' drew massive outrage on Twitter, where readers pointed out that it advised men to violate women's consent during dates, in relationships, and in bed…The article, along with the fact that it was published in a major men's magazine, is a perfect illustration of the pervasiveness of rape culture and the lack of understanding about consent”…Read more

Local News

Tyler McKay, 23, of Necedah, and Gene Sheppard, 26, of Mauston, face charges of substantial battery and disorderly conduct…Read more
Keane Singleton, 29, of Baraboo, who repeatedly stabbed his pregnant girlfriend, sending authorities on a five-day manhunt in March 2012, will serve 13 years behind bars…Read more
Danile Greyhair, of Lyndon Station, faces one count of first degree sexual assault – sexual contcat with a child under 13…Read more
Michael Dewey, 38, of Elroy, charged with multiple counts of child sexual assault, sentenced to 220 years in prison and 88 years on extended supervision…Read more
David Allen Cranfield, 35, of Wisconsin Dells, faces one count of false imprisonment, misdemeanor battery domestic abuse, criminal damage to property, and disorderly conduct domestic abuse…Read more
Dawn Hess, 45, of Mauston, is charged with burglary of a building or dwelling, criminal trespass, obstructing an officer and disorderly conduct – domestic abuse…Read more

Parents' and Youth Service Providers' Section

A Safer Family. A Safer World Booklet: “Our new resource, ‘A Safer Family. A Safer World’ is designed for parents, caregivers, and other caring adults to help them prevent the sexual abuse of children. In this booklet, adults can learn how to talk about healthy sexuality, teach consent, boundaries and touching, challenge society’s messages, watch for signs of abusers, and respond if a child has been sexually abused”…Download or purchase here
How Trauma-Informed Teaching Builds A Sense of Safety And Care: “Third grade teacher Anita Parameswaran is no stranger to students who have experienced trauma…She had one student experience a huge setback when he learned his father was arrested and sent to jail. The student then became violent, throwing things, and hurting other students…She would set short term goals, like focusing for 15 minutes. She tried to make his day feel very predictable, so he knew what was coming every ten minutes. These were some of the steps suggested by a program called Unconditional Education, run by Seneca Family of Agencies, a non-profit focused on the mental health and well-being of children”…Read more
Being There for Nonbinary Youth: “The family met with his homeroom teacher, who quickly became an ally, even advising the LGBT club Eli established called GLOW (Gay, Lesbian Or Whatever). ‘He’s cisgender, he’s straight,’ Eli recalls, ‘but he’s passionate about advocating and making sure all of the kids in our club succeed in school and aren’t held back because of how they identify.’ Eli also found an advocate in his school principal, who located a gender-neutral restroom for him to use at school. ‘I would not have thought that my principal would have been helpful because he drives a big red truck with a gun rack on it,’ recounts Eli. ‘But when all of the transgender stuff came to the table, he was like, ‘I don’t really understand, but Eli’s a good kid and we’ll get him what he’s entitled to’”…Read more
Online Training for Foster Parents: What Am I Missing? Learning the Difference between Being Safe and Feeling Safe: “Your foster child didn’t come to your home with an instruction booklet. Even though you’ve done everything you can think of to make your child feel welcome and safe in your home, sometimes nothing seems to be working. This is where the new interactive course, What Am I Missing? Learning the Difference between Being Safe and Feeling Safe, comes in. Like a compassionate friend, Charlene, the guide in this module, offers insight into how trauma can cause troubling behaviors. Using a trauma lens, you will look at safety from your child’s point of view. The compelling case stories and interactive quizzes give you creative strategies to add to your foster parenting toolkit”...Take the course

CDC Releases Youth Risk Behaviors Survey Results: “Significant progress has been made in reducing physical fighting among adolescents...However, nationwide, the percentage of students who had not gone to school because of safety concerns is still too high, with 6% of students missing at least 1 day of school during the past month because they felt they would be unsafe…While teens are having less sex, condom use among currently sexually active students and HIV testing among all students has declined”…View the results
The 2016 KIDS COUNT Data Book: “This year, the annual report focuses on key trends in child well-being in the post-recession years and offers recommendations for how policymakers can ensure all children are prepared for the future, based on the country’s shared values of opportunity, responsibility and security”…View the report
5 Everyday Ways to Teach Your Kids about Consent: “Instead of saying, ‘Give me a hug goodbye,’ she would ask her daughter, ‘Can I have a hug goodbye?’ And on the days her daughter said ‘no’ or her body language indicated ‘no,’ she would say, ‘That’s cool. If you ever want a hug, I’m here. I love you. Have a great day’...If you ask to hug your son, and he says ‘no,’ regard his ‘no,’ too. You could reply with, ‘OK, I respect that. Let me know if you change your mind’”…Read more
Rape Culture Starts As Early As Middle School: “Earlier this school year, my 11-year-old got her first cell phone. A few months later, the phone rang and a young boy screamed into it, loud enough for me to hear, ‘I just want you to know that I think you’re a f***ing b****!’…I’m not afraid to say it: This is where rape culture begins. It starts early, and we don’t see it for what it is until it’s too late — heinous crimes have been committed and lives are ruined. It’s time for this to stop. Do something. Say something. Teach your sons to respect girls. Teach young men to respect and protect women, to listen to them. And make the punishment fit the crime”…Read more
Talking to Your Children About Domestic Violence: “It’s normal for people who have been in a violent relationship to NOT want to talk to their kids about it. It might seem safer to pretend that the abuse didn’t happen, assume that the kids don’t know about it or hope they will just forget about it. But, denying or ignoring abuse can actually create more confusion and fear, so it’s important to talk to your children about what’s going on whenever possible”…Read the tips
Celebrating Positive Masculinity for Father’s Day: “The Representation Project released a video celebrating extraordinary fathers that embody positive masculinity as part of their #BeAModelMan campaign. The Representation Project, Futures Without Violence, and Obscura Digital partnered up to launch the #BeAModelMan movement to raise awareness about the crucial role that men must play in ending toxic masculinity and violence against women”…Read more

Faith Communities' Section

Engaging Men of Faith in Domestic Violence Prevention: Join A CALL TO MEN for a FREE one-day conference on October 14 in Charlotte, NC designed to engage men of faith in domestic violence prevention. The presence and participation of women is welcomed and encouraged. Registration opens soon. Seating will be limited. For more information, contact Danielle Erwin at danielle@acalltomen.org.

Resource

New Video for Victims of Crime: The Office for Victims of Crime (OVC) has developed a new video: If You’re a Victim of Crime, Help is Available. The video recognizes that being a victim of a crime can be a devastating experience for survivors and their families, describes the help that is available for victims of crime, and identifies certain victims' rights that are guaranteed in most states.

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July 2016 Community Education E-bulletin

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