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Our lantern will be lit in memory of Destiny Tolodxi and Donald Brewer

5/10/2018

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Since October 2013, Hope House has joined with other domestic violence programs around the state by implementing the Lantern Project. For our part in this statewide project, we added to the lamppost in front of Hope House a purple wreath. We will turn on the light for a week every time there is a death related to domestic violence in Wisconsin. We will post information online about the person(s) that was killed. If you drive by our building and see our lamppost on, please reflect on the deadly impact that domestic violence has on our communities.

April 20th, 2018 Destiny Tolodxi age 24
Obituary
Article

Person killed in I-94 fiery Racine County crash identified as man who killed Rockford woman
ROCKFORD, Ill. -- The Wisconsin State Crime Lab has positively identified the man in the April 20 crash that happened on I-94 south in Racine County. The man was identified by fingerprint analysis as 30-year-old Elmer Aguilar.
Aguilar is suspected of killing 24-year-old Destiny Tolodxi and then driving her car north into Wisconsin where a wheel fell off the car and he crashed into an excavator doing construction on I-94.





Picture
May 5th, 2018 Donald Brewer, Age 45, Almond, WI
Article
Obituary Pending

The suspect in a fatal shooting in Portage County has been ordered to be held on a $1 million bond. He has been identified as Steven Breneman, 31, according to a news release from the sheriff’s department. Authorities believe Breneman shot Donald Brewer, 45, on his porch in the town of Almond Saturday evening. They said the motive appears to be allegations of “marital infidelity." The two got into a verbal altercation in front of Brewer's mobile home on 4th avenue and 4th street around 6:20 p.m. Saturday. In the prosecutor's statement, Breneman reached into his waist band to take out a gun and then fired twice at Brewer, striking him in the head.

Brewer's two sons, ages 14 and 12, witnessed the shooting, according to the release. They were able to identify the shooter. The suspect left the scene but was later arrested, officials said. Almond High School prom was temporarily suspended and everyone was moved to an off-site location while officials were looking for the alleged shooter Saturday. Once the suspect was arrested, prom was allowed to continue, according to the sheriff's department. Neighbors told News 9 they were shocked over the news Sunday. Breneman is set to appear in court again later this month. An autopsy was conducted on Brewer Monday as well.





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May 2018 Community Education E-bulletin

5/3/2018

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Welcome to the May 2018 edition of Hope House's Community Education E-bulletin!​
TABLE OF CONTENTS:
1. Thanks for Raising Awareness With Us This April
2. Thank You Denim Day Participants
3. Hope House Donation Needs
4. Sexual Assault
5. Domestic Violence
6. Parents' and Youth Service Providers' Section
 

Thank You for Raising Awareness This April
Thank you to everyone that got involved and helped us raise awareness for Sexual Assault Awareness Month and Child Abuse Prevention Month. Pictured here are just some of the events and activities that we and/or our community partners were involved with. We so appreciate your support! Let's keep the conversations and awareness going all year long!

​Did you see Hope House staff's weekly guest columns in the Capital Newspapers in April? If you missed any, please take a minute to read them:
  • Berry column: Teach your children about consent
  • Lawton column: Responses to sex assault are important
    • ​Also see the follow-up article: Advocates encourage community to 'Start by Believing' victims​
  • Kaehny column: Wear denim to raise sex assault issues​
  • Theis column: Use your voice to stand up for what is right ​
 

Thank You for Participating in Denim Day
Thank you to all the businesses, agencies, schools, and churches that participated in Denim Day. Denim Day is in honor of a young woman whose rapist was let free in his appeal case because judges ruled her jeans were so tight that she must've helped him take them off and thus, in their eyes, was giving consent. Sounds outrageous and yet survivors nationally and locally are often not believed or are blamed. It's great to see so many community members that are working to change that and that want to demonstrate their support of survivors, protest victim-blaming, and educate others on consent.

​Pictured here are just a few examples of groups that participated in our service area. Photos and donations continue to come to Hope House. So far Denim Day participants have raised over $1,600 to help support Hope House's free sexual assault advocacy services to survivors in Sauk, Columbia, Adams, Juneau, and Marquette Counties. 

 To All Our Facebook Followers
Thank you for liking our page! How exciting that on Denim Day we reached
over 1,000 likes. Please continue to like, comment, and share our posts so that
we can continue to reach more people: www.facebook.com/hopehousescw.
 

Hope House Donation Needs
Monetary donations are most needed.  Individuals have the option of donating ​online.  Please note that a portion of your online donation will go towards PayPal fees.  Donations can be mailed to Hope House, P.O. Box 557, Baraboo, WI 53913. We also appreciate gas cards, gift cards (Walmart, Kwik Trip, Walgreens, Kohl’s), taxi vouchers from Baraboo Taxi, and used cell phones, iPods and iPads.  Please note that we are not accepting used stuffed animals/plush toys, used toys, clothes (except for new sweatshirts and sweatpants), shoes, used books, furniture, TVs, bar soap, hats, scarves or travel-size bottles of shampoo, conditioner, or body wash. Current needs include the following:

  • Food: Juice, Bottled Water, Ready-to-Eat Food, Granola/Protein Bars, Individual Snack Bags of Crackers
  • Cleaning Supplies: Dishwasher Detergent, Toilet Bowl Cleaner
  • Clothing: Flip flops, Women's Underwear (size 5 to 8, new in package), Men's Underwear (all sizes, new in package)
  • Personal Care Items: Deodorant (for men and women), Hair brushes, Hand sanitizer
  • Housewares: Paper Towels 
  • Program Supplies: CD and DVD cleaner, Electric Pencil Sharpener

​Special Note about Travel-Size Items: We encourage those looking to donate travel-size items to donate them to the Backpack Project. The Backpack Project strives to provide Baraboo School District students who are financially challenged to enter the school doors on the first day ‘just like everyone else’ and to show these children the community supports and encourages them to learn and do their best. If interested in donating towards this project, please contact Becky Hovde at 608-963-8230 or Hivebiz65@gmail.com.
 

News & Research
Sexual Assault
  • NPR: Cosby Convicted Of Sexual Assault: “Bill Cosby was convicted on three counts of aggravated indecent assault yesterday. A Pennsylvania jury found the comedian and entertainer guilty of drugging and sexually assaulting Andrea Constand in 2004. His attorneys vowed to appeal. From our member station WHYY, Laura Benshoff reports that this is the first criminal consequence Cosby has faced after dozens of sexual misconduct claims”…Read more…Read related articles: Bill Cosby’s guilty verdict was made possible by decades of activism by black women and NSVRC Statement on Guilty Verdict in Bill Cosby Trial
  • R. Kelly Faces a #MeToo Reckoning as Time’s Up Backs a Protest: “Since the first major newspaper investigation by The Chicago Sun-Times into allegations of abuse by the singer in 2000, Mr. Kelly has consistently denied that he has been violent and sexually coercive with women and young teenagers even as he has settled lawsuits, dating to the mid-1990s, with accusers…Since the start of the grass-roots social media and on-the-ground protest campaign called #MuteRKelly last summer, 10 of his concerts have been canceled...A lawyer, a publicist and an assistant all parted ways with the singer recently. And on Monday the Time’s Up organization, which aims to combat sexual misconduct and support its victims, threw its considerable celebrity weight behind the #MuteRKelly hashtag, releasing an open letter calling on corporations tied to Mr. Kelly to cut him off”…Read more​​
  • The Silence: The Legacy of Childhood Trauma: “I assumed you were going to ask me to read a manuscript or help you find an agent, but instead you asked me about the sexual abuse alluded to in my books. You asked, quietly, if it had happened to me. You caught me completely by surprise. I wish I had told you the truth then, but I was too scared in those days to say anything. Too scared, too committed to my mask…I was raped when I was eight years old. By a grownup that I truly trusted”…Read more
  • ‘ER’ Star Anthony Edwards: I Don’t See My Childhood Sexual Abuse as a ‘Tragedy’: “Edwards said he was molested and his best friend raped by Hollywood producer Gary Goddard, who was his ‘mentor, teacher, and friend.’ Goddard has denied Edwards’ allegations and remains on a leave of absence from entertainment design group Legacy/GGE, formerly the Goddard Group, which he founded...Edwards wrote in his essay: ‘Only after I was able to separate my experience, process it, and put it in its place could I accept this truth: My abuse may always be with me, but it does not own me’”…Read more​
Picture
  • Sexual assault survivors are reclaiming the words used to discredit them: 'What were you wearing?': “In a new art exhibit, they powerfully lay out their answers -- pajamas, jeans, sweatshirts and overalls -- and in doing so, fight off the blame society tries to cast onto them. The installation was curated by Lazaro Tejera, a fourth-year biology student who oversees the Gender and Sexualities in Medicine Committee as part of the university's American Medical Student Association Chapter. When Tejera found out about the visual project, first launched by the University of Arkansas in 2013, he knew he had to bring it to life at his own school”…Read more​​
  • I was raped. Call me a victim, not a ‘survivor:’ “Was I the only one who felt like “survivor” didn’t accurately sum up my identity?...For me, survivor sugarcoats the reality of rape. Survivor tells an ultimately hopeful, inspiring, empowering story. Look at us, thriving despite violence. Survivor is easier for people to hear. It is more comfortable than victim. Victim reminds people of violent acts, of brutal realities. Survivor makes them think of rousing music and impossible courage. Survivor is the story of sexual violence that the media, the public, wants to hear…The language I use to talk about sexual violence should place the spotlight on the fact that another person perpetrated a crime against me, and we do not call the victim of a robbery a ‘survivor.’ I do not want to be the focus. I want the crime to be the focus. I want the criminal to be the focus. When we hear the term victim, we think about the crime, acknowledge its perpetrator. When we hear the term survivor, the perpetrator is erased”…Read more

 

Domestic Violence
  • Local: DOJ: Man dead in Columbus home following domestic violence incident, police standoff
  • ‘Lovesick’ Is A Sick Excuse For A Young Woman’s Death: “Austin Rollins was not lovesick; he was dangerously, homicidally entitled. He was a young man who believed he had the right to take the life of a young woman who did not want him. And like many who have killed the people they ‘love,’ Rollins had no known history of mental illness. No wonder people who knew him said they were shocked by what he did. But none of these things ― the rage, the gun, the violence, the death ― should be surprising. Even the professed shock isn’t surprising…Our collective refusal to talk about how often school shootings are fueled by young men’s anger towards their female peers is insidious”…Read more
  • The Trial of Noor Salman and Its Shocking Disregard for Survivors of Domestic Violence: “Salman was being tried for obstruction of justice and aiding and abetting her husband, Omar Mateen, who murdered forty-nine people at Pulse night club before being shot dead by police…Salman’s defense attorneys used very little of her history of abuse in their arguments, because the larger point for them was to convince jurors that she did not know of his plans before the attack unfolded. But from my viewpoint her victimhood was both entirely pertinent and shockingly disregarded”…Read more
  • Domestic abuse is the new realm of concussion studies: “If a significant injury were to occur during puberty, it could fundamentally change the path to adulthood. Zieman also said some research has found that injuries sustained at different points in a woman’s menstrual cycle can alter symptoms and recovery time. Concussions can cause loss of consciousness, nausea, dizziness, memory loss, and long-term neurological problems that can cloud judgment and hinder speech…‘You can imagine what a trial looks like,’ he said. ‘If the assailant says she has a history of drinking and now she gets on the stand and it sounds like she’s drunk, the jury’s not going to listen to her,’ even though a brain injury caused the slurred speech”…Read more​
 

Parents' and Youth Service Providers' Section
  • What #MeToo Means to Teenagers: “Girls, for example, are often taught to be modest and may feel flattered when boys tease them. Boys are more likely to be taught to hold in their feelings, and to be aggressive in the pursuit of a crush and push boundaries. This kind of gender stereotyping can become an indirect link to more problematic behaviors like sexual harassment, said Dr. Jeglic, and be harmful for kids of all ages and genders. If parents, teachers or other guardians suspect that children in their care are experiencing sexual harassment, bullying or abuse from their peers, she said, it’s important to validate their experience, listen to what they have to say and help them understand what happened”…Read more
  • ​Why girls can be boyish but boys can't be girlish: “Girls have been told that they can do anything, be anything, and they largely can, without judgment. However -- and here's the catch -- that's true only if they are physically strong and career-oriented and eschew most of the traditional trappings of femininity. In short, they will gain respect if they act like boys. ‘It's about mobility. Girls who act like boys are moving up the social ladder. Boys who are acting like anything but masculine are moving down and risk losing their status,’ Kimmel said”…Read more
  • After a Suicide: A Toolkit for Schools, Second Edition: “After a Suicide: A Toolkit for Schools assists schools in implementing a coordinated response to the suicide death of a student. Originally developed in 2011, the second edition includes new information and tools that middle and high schools can use to help the school community cope and reduce suicide risk. The toolkit was developed in collaboration with the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention and in consultation with national experts, including school-based administrators and staff, clinicians, researchers, and crisis response professionals”…Learn more
  • Parents Explain The Me Too Movement To Their Kids In Emotional Video: “The video, “Parents Explain #MeToo,” was published Monday and features three parents discussing the Me Too movement with their respective children”…Watch it here

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Our Lantern Will Be Lit In Honor of David Heth from 5/2/18-5/8/18

5/3/2018

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Since October 2013, Hope House has joined with other domestic violence programs around the state by implementing the Lantern Project. For our part in this statewide project, we added to the lamppost in front of Hope House a purple wreath. We will turn on the light for a week every time there is a death related to domestic violence in Wisconsin. We will post information online about the person(s) that was killed. If you drive by our building and see our lamppost on, please reflect on the deadly impact that domestic violence has on our communities.


May 1st 2018, David Heth, Age 51, Columbus

Article
Obituary pending

A neighbor close to a volatile incident in Columbus on Sunday confirmed the identity of the man authorities found dead in the house at 505 S. Birdsey St.

The body of David J. Heth, 51, was found by authorities in the home after a lengthy standoff with police. The state Department of Criminal Investigation has not released the cause of death or said whether any other people were in the home during the standoff. The Columbia County Medical Examiner, who is assisting with the investigation, declined to comment Tuesday.

Lt. Dennis Weiner from the Columbus Police Department released a brief press release Sunday morning stating law enforcement was investigating a “critical situation” along the 500 block of South Birdsey Street. The standoff did not end until later that afternoon.

On Tuesday, Weiner said the investigation is being handled by DCI.

“There is not much we can say on our end as the case had been turned over to DCI,” Weiner said. “They typically do not comment on ongoing investigations they are involved in. I wouldn’t want to say something and possibly jeopardize the investigation.”

Neighbor Paul Genco said he did not know Heth well, but was surprised by what transpired Sunday.
“They just moved in during the winter and no one was seen outside much until this spring,” Genco said.

According to Columbia County tax records, Heth purchased the home where the standoff took place in November 2017.
Police blocked off several streets near the residence and cordoned off a section near the home with police tape. Heth allegedly barricaded himself inside the home following a domestic dispute. His girlfriend ran to a neighbor’s home to call authorities for help.

Weiner said he was not aware of any prior incidents at Heth’s residence before Sunday’s standoff. Based on court records, Heth pleaded guilty to two misdemeanor charges – battery/domestic abuse and criminal damage to property/domestic abuse in 2013. He was found guilty of disorderly conduct in a 2014 case and pleaded no contest to another disorderly conduct charge in 2017. Each case was in Dane County.

Despite the tense scene Sunday, Genco said he believed police had the situation under control. Residents were told to avoid the area and neighbors were encouraged to stay inside their homes.

“I never felt like we were in any danger,” Genco said. “We stayed inside our house until we were told it was OK to go back outside. The police really did an excellent job.”

Genco said it is “back to normal” in a section of Columbus which is typically quiet and peaceful.



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